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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago

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Deleted Scene: Gateway Drug

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"Monster In-Law" -- [1981]

My stomach is in uncomfortable knots as I rub foundation over my skin, nervously, trying not to shit myself with anxiety as the clock nears 7:00pm.

I hope he's not late, but I also hope he doesn't even show.

"I wonder if it's Luke Ginson." I hear my mother suggest to my father, the sound of clicking silverware lets me know they're setting the table, and I wrinkle my nose.

"You think Vivian would be interested in the Preacher's son, Charlette?" My dad replies, doubt in his voice.

"I hope so. He's a Godly young man, Johnny, that our Vivian would be lucky to go with." She replies and I have to hold back a scoff.

Luke Ginson was our pastor's son but was just as debauched as Vince, Tommy and Nikki, only hiding behind the fact his dad was a preacher as a cover. I'd later find out my mom and Pastor Garret had planned on approaching me and Luke with the idea of going out. I wonder if she felt like an absolute idiot for thinking he was so much better for me than Nikki when Luke popped up in the obituary in 1988 after dying of a methadone overdose…

"Vivian would be lucky to go out with?" My dad questions her. "Any guy is lucky to even be breathing the same air as her, Charlette, don't act like our girl is so--"

"--I'm not." My mom insists. "She just needs a little push in the right direction."

"And Luke Ginson is the right direction?"

"Of course!" She says it as if she's offended he'd dare suggest otherwise, and I let out a heavy breath, my nerves only tensing up more.

She thinks I'm bringing her Lord and Savior Luke Ginson to dinner...great.

I'm ready just in time, hearing the door of Nikki's beat up car shut outside.

I'm darting down the stairs, glad that my parents haven't noticed, and open the door before he can ring the doorbell.

He's dressed as nice as he can be, jeans, a tshirt, and his leather jacket.

"Hi." He says, smiling at me, looking me up and down. "You look hot."

"Thank you." I reply, my eyes catching on the rosary around his neck. "Oh, no, she can't see that, we're Assembly of God, she's gonna think you're Catholic." I mumble as I quickly tuck it into his shirt as my mom says, "Vivian, is he here?" A little too excitedly.

"Um, yes ma'am, coming!" I call, looking at Nikki.

"Relax, babe, I got this." He assures me deviously as we step inside and I lead him to the dining room, gulping when I meet my mother's eyes as she steps in with a pitcher of lemonade.

She sets her sights on Nikki and drops the dish, causing the heavy glass to break and lemonade to slosh onto the floor, and I keep myself from squeezing my eyes closed to retreat to my mind.

"Charlette, honey, be more care--" My dad stops talking when he walks in to see Nikki, "--ful." He finishes, immediately going into salvage mode. "H-Hey, hi," he smiles widely at Nikki, seeming to be amused with my choice of date, "I'm Johnny." My dad extends his hand.

"Nikki." Nikki takes it.

"Johnny, Vivian, a word, please." My mom says, obviously seething.

"Oh, Charlette, we don't have time...the steaks will get cold." He tells her to save me, and she stomps into the kitchen before he looks at me.

"Thank you." I mouth and he winks at me.

"She was expecting someone else." My dad tells Nikki, putting an arm around his shoulder and patting him as we step to the table.

Nikki finds this humorous and snorts a little, causing me to glare at him because it's not funny.

"Would you like something to drink, Nikki?" I ask quietly as my dad wipes up the lemonade and gets what pieces of glass he can get off the floor.

"I really don't think your parents have Jack, do they?" He mumbles and I shake my head a little, smiling sadly at him. "I'm in hell." He adds as I chuckle. "Whatever you guys have is fine with me." He says next and I nod, heading to the kitchen to grab him a soda from the fridge.

My mom's angrily preparing to bring the plate of steaks to the table, her red lips in an almost snarl as she glances at me.

"This is not what we do, Vivian." She states to me and I roll my eyes.

"Mom--"

"--You know better than to get in with the likes of him." She keeps on.

"I know he's not Luke freaking Ginson, mom, but he's good to me and I really like him."

"Oh, he's good to you?" She asks with a mocking laugh, turning to face me with her hands on her hips.

"Yes, he is." I stand by what I said.

"Your Aunt Lily is rolling in her grave at the sound of you giving props to the same type of man that completely wrecked her life, and eventually took it away from her altogether." She hisses, turning back around to grab the plate, while I'm struck speechless. "Grab the fries and string beans." She tells me, walking back out to the table.

I push my tears back and grab the beans, sitting them next to the steaks as I hand Nikki his soda, next.

"Looks good." He comments about the food.

"Very good." Dad puts in next, sitting down. "Thank you, Charlette." He says next in reference to her helping with dinner.

"Who would like to say prayer?" She ignores him, her eyes glassed with tears the longer she looks at Nikki and I next to each other.

"I will." Dad says, and I bow my head and close my eyes. "Father, in heaven, I pray. Forgive me of my sins, Lord. Thank you for continuing to bless us with new opportunities to meet and love on others. Thank you for your comforting hand, and not leaving one tear that's been shed recently over Lilian, unacknowledged. I pray that you continue to keep your hand over this family, protect us and those we love, but above all, I pray whatever your will is, let it be done. Thank you for this meal we are so fortunate to have, may it nourish and strengthen our bodies so our bodies may continue to be used unto your service. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen." He finishes.

"Amen." Mom and I echo, and Nikki looks at me, already chewing steak, letting me know he started eating during the blessing.

My mother notices, too, her hand tightening around her fork.

My dad just shrugs it off before asking him, "So, Nikki, what is it you do for a living, or are you in school?" My dad asks him and my mom rudely scoffs as if it's impossible that Nikki's in college currently.

"No, I'm kinda doing odd jobs. Right now I'm telemarketing." He explains.

“Is that what the kids are calling drug dealing nowadays?” My mom remarks, snidely.

“Mom.” I say, shooting daggers her way and she raises her brows.

“What, I’m just asking a legitimate question, Vivian.” She tells me, raising her brows. “What, with the knotted, unnaturally black hair, eye liner and uncomfortably ripped pants that make him look like he got caught in a barbed wire fence while escaping a prison, I think it’s safe to assume he enjoys listening to the same sex, alcohol and drug endorsing music as--”

“--Charlette.” My dad sighs out, looking at her as if to say, “seriously?”

“And don’t even get me started on the rosary hiding under his shirt.” She promptly points out and he and I both tense up. “Not only did you bring home an imbecile, Vivian, but a Catholic imbecile.” She sarcastically congratulates me. “I’m sure God is so very pleased with you.” She adds and I wince as she abruptly corrects herself, looking at Nikki as she says, “or, as you Catholics believe, ‘Mother Mary.”

“Mom--”

“--Do you not feel ridiculous believing that you have to plead with dead disciples and Mary to talk to God on your behalf because simply going to God directly in prayer isn’t enough. Because I assure you, what, with the ‘Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of the womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death’, I promise you she’s looking down at your ignorance and telling you to just talk to Jesus or God yourself because she’s a woman, and men don’t listen--not even the divine.” She states, and my father has his face buried in his hands, and I can tell my expression is mortified as my mom just casually starts cutting her steak while Nikki just keeps his amused grin on his lips.

“No, my prayers are usually done in the dead of night in a discreet location in the hills, with the sacrificial offering of a virgin with the entirety of the Sunset Strip nightlife in attendance while Blackie Lawless sings 'I Fly Away’ backwards while wearing a goat carcass.” He tells her without skipping a beat.

Her jaw clenches, her eye twitching as me and my dad are both sitting, paralyzed, and I feel the color draining from my face by the second.

"Then you have no business associating yourself with my daughter." My mom quips, staring at him resentfully.

"Mmm, she's our latest sacrificial virgin." Nikki replies and my mother slams her fork onto her plate, throwing her napkin onto the table.

"I need fresh air." She states in a hiss, going to the door and slamming it.

We all just sit in silence for a moment, before Nikki looks at my dad.

"I'm not really using her as a sacrificial virgin." He tells him, and my dad raises a brow.

"I figured being that it wouldn't do much good." My dad mumbles. "Well, kids, moments like these I wish I wouldn't have stopped drinking." He sighs out next, standing. "I'm sorry for her mother's lack of manners and boundaries. She wasn't always like this." He assures Nikki. "And no matter your beliefs--it's not our business--as long as Vivian's comfortable…" he says next and Nikki nods as if he's thinking about it before my dad opens the door to go talk my mom down.

#gateway drug

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eerythingisshaka · 5 years ago

Text

Play Though? Pt. 3

[Dad!M’Baku x Black!OC]

Word Count: 4.3K

Remi stands there with her mouth gaped wide open, praying that what she was seeing before her is an illusion, a mirage.

“Daddy!” Xavier calls out happily running to hug his legs.

Ron bends down with a fist out. “Yeah, gimme some bud.”

Xavier hauls a punch on Ron’s knuckles who feigns injury, shaking his hand. He adjusts his durag, looking Remi up and down. “I can’t get no love.”

Remi stutters trying to collect her thoughts. “I’m wondering why you’re coming over here unannounced, Ron. You’re supposed to call, what if I wasn’t home?”

He waved her off, walking inside, rubbing his stomach. “You always home. You don’t be doing nothin. That’s why I always liked you, you a Queen. No wayward ways with you.”

Remi closes her front door rolling her eyes as she heads to the kitchen. “Well, I ain’t got all night to entertain you, what do you want?”

Ron sits on the couch with a plop as Xavier climbs up beside him, rolling his toy car along his dad’s arms and legs since he has plenty to work with. Ron wasn’t a small guy, former college athlete but not good enough to go pro. His caramel skin, unblemished tone is his pride and joy, and Xavier shares that trait.

“Come on son, gimme some space to talk to your mama. Remi, look, I didn’t think I needed a invite to see my kid.”

“Are you really here for him? Cuz my plans involve him as well, which is another reason why you CALL before you come by!”

“I just wanted to check in with you...the shop is just about done with renovations so you oughta be able to get things going again finally.”

Remi nods. “Ok sure. Thanks for the update. You know X has been acting out at his daycare. They said he’s being aggressive.”

Ron sits up fake boxing at the back of Xaviers’ head. “That ain’t no problem, he get that from his papa. Mean he a fighter one day. There’s money in that.”

Remi screws her face up. “You don’t think it’s a problem? Or that he should be told to chill out or ask what the fits are about? Just let him fight huh?”

“He’s a boy Remi, damn! I’m glad he got a little tough side in him since he live with you all the time.”

“That’s not my problem either. My door is wide open for you to see him, take him somewhere or have him around for a few days. That never changed.”

Ron gives a coy laugh looking at her everywhere but her face. “You gettin dressed up for somebody?”

Remi looks down at her skin tight jean capris with a peach low cut blouse and wedge shoes, toes freshly done with a candy paint red. “That’s none of your business either. But you ought to leave so that I can have my evening I planned with my child.”

Ron rolls his head back letting out a groan. “You weren’t the only one there to make him Remi, remember that?” Ron gets up, giving Xavier’s braids a jostle.

“Don’t be gross.” Remi scowls, placing her hand on the doorknob.

Ron walks up to her until he’s just a fleas distance from her body. “I don’t remember you thinking it was.”

Remi opens the door to let him out. “Call next time, we’re done here. Xavier say bye to daddy.”

“Hi Sunny!” Xavier exclaims heading towards the door as a little girl darts past her.

“Xavi! I’m back!” They hug each other’s little self so tightly, she almost warns them not to hurt each other.

“Who’s this big nigga?” Ron says squaring his shoulders to make himself appear more threatening. It was like time stopped when she looked back at the door she still held open to look up and see M’Baku, still holding his hand up mid knock.

“Uh...hello Remi. I brought the food…” M’Baku holds up a bag of produce and items for the meal he was ready to prepare for them. Remi’s heart melts at the sight.

“Ah, that’s real nice of you, I’ll take that fam.” Ron grabs the bag and hauls it toward the kitchen.

“Ron! Remi hissed at him. “M’Baku I’m sorry, he was JUST LEAVING!” She waves M’Baku inside.

“I didn’t come early did I?” M’Baku asks softly.

“No! Not at all, you’re right on time. Xavier’s dad just decided to crash unexpectedly but for real, he is gone.”

Ron comes back rubbing his hands together. “So you got a name blood?”

M’Baku’s eyebrows fly up but he keeps his cool. “M’Baku.”

Ron look him up and down. “The hell you call me? What African voodoo shit he talkin Remi, you got him round my son??”

“We just met Ron! And that ain’t no concern of yours, I told you to go!”

Ron scoffs ignoring her. “Look, Imma back back, let y’all have a little dinner or whatever. But she has a father for her kid, that’s me. She good, ya heard?”

Remi takes Ron by the arm and leads him outside past M’Baku who waits patiently watching from a distance.

“Ron, you don’t get to come around here making demands, you left them privileges when you caught feelings for that white girl secretary at your dentist office!”

“It didn’t mean nothing! What do you expect me to do when you freeze me out like that?”

“Try remembering your son’s birthday and showing up with a gift next time. But trust you won’t expect nothing from me no damn more.”

“You got the government dipping in my pockets quicker than I can find something to so with it anyway.”

“That’s insurance to make sure you don’t gamble it all away.”

“You just keep that King Kong Bundy ass nigga from my son until I get approval.”

“Suck my ass, Ron!” Remi exclaims before returning inside to lock the door and take a deep breath of relief. When she centers her thoughts she sees M’Baku laid on the floor, directing a scene between Xavier’s Venom and Spiderman doll that he and Jolasun are hopping around the floor with a few other toys askew.

“And Venom says…”

“Will you buy these wonderful roses? Two blooms for a penny?” Jolasun says in a sing song tone.

“What about some milk for my goat?” Xavier asks.

M’Baku whispers. “The goat makes milk, it does not drink it as an adult. Try again.”

“Oh uh, what about milk FROM your goat?”

M’Baku pats him on his back encouragingly.

“I’ll sell you the whole animal for your wagon sir.” Jolasun reaches over for his replica sports car.

“Hmm, that’s a hard deal…” Xavier thinks carefully.

“You’re teaching economics to my child?” Remi asks, parking herself behind M’Baku’s back to peer at the scene over his shoulder.

“We are playing Market. Mr. Venom and Mr. Spiderman-”

“Mrs., Baba! Mrs. Spiderman!”

“Of course, love. Mrs. Spiderman, are trying to work out deals among each other until presumably they have bartered all of their belongings completely.”

“Mama, I can get you a-a-a horse if you want. You want a horse mama?” Xavier asks her.

“I think she would look good with one. What do you think?” M’Baku looks back at Remi behind him and she feels herself going giddy.

“Why I would love a horse. Thank you son!”

“Hang on! I haven’t sold it yet!” Jolasun exclaims. “If I can have your rocketship, you can have my horse.”

“Nuh-uh! You can have my, uh, whistle?” He picks up an orange whistle he got from one of the dine and play places, blowing it loudly.

Remi covers her ears. “X I told you not to blow that in the house! You guys keep trying to trade that horse, we have some cooking to do.” Remi pats M’Baku’s arm and instantly regrets it. The strength underneath tshirt sleeve taunted her, tempted her. She got up as quickly as she could to make her way to the bag of food M’Baku brought and begins to unpack.

“Uh uh, that is what I am supposed to do.” M’Baku insists, unacking kale and beets and beans.

Remi looks at him unbelievably. “But you’re a guest in my house, I should help you with something.”

M’Baku stops, tapping his head with a yam in thought. “You could actually help with something. Do you have a bottle of wine, eh? I forgot mine.”

Remi hops to the fridge excitedly. “I sure do! I don’t have any cooking wine though…”

M’Baku grunts. “First lesson in cooking: don’t use cooking wine to cook with! The intent is there, but the flavor isn’t,”

Remi nows, peeling the foil wrapper off of the lip. “I see, noted.”

M’Baku begins to chop up the kale as you screw the bottle opener into the cork.

“So, did you have a good day today?” Remi asks nervously.

M’Baku shrugs as he oils a pan on the stove. “Same old, same old as you say. Jolasun had a recital at her little school before coming here. She did a good job.”

Remi’s face lights up in the midst of her struggling to open the bottle. “Oh that’s great! Is it like ballet or something?”

“Contemporary. She loves to dance, and she is very confident about it. Almost to a fault, but she gets it from her father.” M’Baku looks back at her smiling. “Do you need help with that?”

Remi’s veins are damn near popping out of her neck as gives it one more pull before taking a break. “Dammit, I thought I got a twist top in the first place.”

Remi sets the bottle down with a plop on the counter as M’Baku meanders around the island to her side, picking up the bottle with the opener still stabbed in the top. He grips the neck tightly, knuckles show signs of wear but they look beautiful along his skin. Remi watches carefully as his takes his other hand firmly over the opener itself.

“I think I got it in too deep.” Remi says softly before flinching at the pop of air being released from the bottle finally being given the chance to breathe thanks to M’Baku. Remi clutches at her neck feeling herself breathe as well.

M’Baku sets the bottle back down in front of her. “It’s never too deep. You have to be mindful of the technique when pulling out. Don’t force it, just ease.”

“Mhm!” Is all Remi could muster as she rests her head on her hand, fighting the open innuendo. He walked back over to the stove to finish stirring, adding broth. “A wise man is a rich man, I say.”

M’Baku chuckles, wiping his hands on a towel. “Then I pray to be a trillionaire with knowledge.”

Remi gets up with her bottle of wine checking out the cooking situation. “Ok, tell me when to pour.”

M’Baku wags a finger. “Not so fast. I have to know how good your wine is, if it works with the flavors I am trying to execute here.”

Remi huffs. “Gosh, so nitpicky. Aight, let me pour a couple glasses.” Remi gets one glass poured when Xavier runs into her legs.

“Mama, mama! I didn’t get you a horse, cuz Sunny says she needs it to go to the store.”

Remi nods looking over at a proud and chubby faced smiling Jolasun, flying a toy pony in the air.

“But-but-but she let me have some magic beans and a duck with give money eggs. That’s cool, huh mama?!” Xavier holds up the ‘duck’, which is really a Toucan Sam from the cereal box, and ‘beans’ AKA legos.

“Oh wow! She did a Jack and the Beanstalk on you! Have you heard that story yet?” M’Baku asks jovially as he cuts up some bread.

Xavier shakes his head, braids flying wild against his face.

M’Baku makes a shocked face before looking at Remi with a sort of playful scowl. Remi just swirls her wine in her glass, looking around like he was checking for someone else grown and in the house.

Remi shrugs. “Don’t look at me! He is into reading chapter books, and if I tried to pull him away from the library he wouldn’t speak to me for a week. He’s past Dr. Suess and fairytales by now!”

M’Baku chuckles heartily as he kneels in front of Xavier. “It’s a story about how some ordinary things can be quite extraordinary. A poor boy from the country trades his last good livestock for a duck and beans instead of money or food. Everyone called him a fool but before he knew it, the items he got turned out to be the very things the trader said they were, and he was a rich man for the rest of his life. You have a good heart Xavier, and if you continue to see the good and potential in others, you could create some awesome magic yourself.”

Remi wasn’t sure if the wine was beginning to hit but her heart felt like it was ready to jump out her chest and slide down the waterfall cascading from between her. She shouldn’t be this easy but a man tending to a child is her kryptonite and frankly she hasn’t seen it enough to be numb to it. The last hour he’s been there, he has shown more affection than his own father showed.

“Mr…..uh…”

“Just call me Baku.” He says.

“Backoo, are you married?”

Remi chokes on her sip of wine, threatening her light carpet with dribble.

M’Baku’s eyes widen. “Why do you ask, Xavier?”

“You can call me X. Mama does, she’s not married though.” Xavier says unwarranted.

Remi joins in to keep things from growing more awkward. “Hey, X! You should show Jolasun that new toy Grandma got you for your certificate at daycare? The light up one?”

Xavier’s face lights up as he runs back to Jolasun, demonstratively leading her to his room to retrieve the toy.

Remi leans on the counter watching them run by. “Oh, to be that young and innocent again. They are so cute, I could never make friends like X does though.”

M’Baku starts sizzling some asparagus. “No?”

Remi takes her glass up with longing. “I was too awkward. Like X, I hit the books hard and I never wanted to leave the world of fantasy to face a real one. My mom thought it led me to be more immature and a crybaby.”

M’Baku looks over to Remi. “Or...it made you more emotionally developed and full of heart. Too many people think that their worth is in the friends that they have but you can make one or two great connections instead of a hundred shallow ones, you’re really doing something great.”

Remi couldn’t help but smile sadly at that. Wine made her emotions elevated and what he said hit a strong nerve. “That’s really profound, Baku. I appreciate that. Sometimes I worry my time has been wasted on things because of pressure and just shit that comes up that you least expect and I kick myself about it but...I do have those handful of folks that keep me here for a reason, most recently my son and I wouldn’t trade my journey for him any day.”

M’Baku puts a pan of toasted bread off to one side, holding the countertop with a wide grip and he leans his weight into his sinewy forearms. “Couldn’t have said it better myself. I don’t take lightly you having Jolasun and myself over for dinner. I just hope it isn’t the last.”

Remi thinks to how the evening began with herself anticipating this moment to Ron coming by and completely taking the fun out of the air before it began. If M’Baku hadn’t been on the other side of that door, she surely would’ve texted to cancel but fate should have it that this strapping, big hearted man in front of her would woo her into a lovely evening of basically babysitting and gossiping in the kitchen.

Remi steps around to the same side M’Baku is standing at, tracing the hardened caulk between the countertiles. “I wanted to ask just so it’s clear to me, uh...Are you over here...as a friend? Because, you know, that’s great, cuz the kids love hanging out and I am cool to play date and yada yada and like I said it’s not like I get out that often anyway: it’s usually work then daycare then home and-”

M’Baku looks on at her in ae as Remi continues to run on sentence speak for an extended period of time, giving no room for him to answer the proposed question. Then before he could say anything, something pops out of the corner of his eyes.

“Pew! Pew! Pew! ALIENS ATTACK!”

M’Baku and Remi look over to see their children holding two stuffed animals a piece as weapons.

Remi puts a hand up in protest. “Wait, we aren’t aliens, I am our mother!”

“And I am your father!” M’Baku say with an authoritarian tone, before whispering to Remi. “...this has turned into a Star Wars style thing though, yeah?”

Remi chuckles as Jolasun makes the announcement. “No, WE are the aliens!”

“Take cover, aliens!” Xavier shrieks as he and Jolasun barrel roll in front of the couch for shelter.

“When we pop up, have your weapons ready!” Jolasun instructs.

“What? What do we do?” Remi asks, surprising herself that she actually feels somewhat nervous.

M’Baku reaches into one of his grocery sacks and picks up a squash. “Take this!” Remi clutches the vegetable to her chest and M’Baku finds a potato.

“That’s all you have left?” She whispers.

M’Baku looks at her incredulously. “You’re critiquing my firepower lady?”

“3! 2! 1!” The children count before popping up and jutting their plushies forward with every imaginary blast.

POW! BANG! KAZOWY! It was a complete a total wreckage of imaginary limbs flying, air support dropping ammunition overhead and reinforcements circling in.

Remi dives behind the counter. “We are outgunned and outnumbered. They’ll get us for sure.”

M’Baku taps his forehead with the potato before lighting up with an idea. “Jola!”

“Yes, Baba?” Jolasun says casually like they aren’t even at war.

“You know if I am a human and you are an alien, because I am your father, you too are half human?”

A small gasp comes from the other side of the room.

“That means me too?” Xavier whispers.

Remi smiles a M’Baku thankfully. “That’s right, you are fighting your own kind!”

“No!” Xavier screams.

“You never told me you were half human!” Jolasun says with venom in her lungs. What a turn of events.

“I-I….YOU never told ME!” Xavier rebuts, turning his plushies on Jolasun.

“FIRE!” They shout, as pew pews hurl at one another.

M’Baku breaths a sigh of relief. “Thank Hanuman, that was-” Looking over at Remi all he sees are her shoulder shaking as her hands cover her face. “Remi, what is wrong? I didn’t think you would be this into it.”

He takes her hands away and see her face screwed up into an ugly, debilitating laugh. “I’m sorry, haha! This was just, WOW! I haven’t heard this good of a plot to anything in a while. They turned on each other!” She guffaws as she clutches her stomach, out of control of her laughter. M’Baku can’t help but to join in, looking at her as her laughter became contagious. Snorts and woots are shared between them as their children’s imaginations murder each other. Before they knew it, the laughter ceased and settle into one another as they realize their hands are still gripping one another’s. Couple that with some knee to knee touching as they remain sitting on the floor behind the counter, and Remi begins to wonder if the stove is still on.

M’Baku looks at Remi directly, with little space between them, she couldn’t help but feel like she is under a microscope.

“You have a gorgeous smile...and your laugh…”

Remi snorts again involuntarily. “I know, it’s a lot.”

“...a joy. To hear it? Makes me feel like I did something many wish they could do but never stood a chance.” His grip becomes more assured. “And I want to do that again.”

Remi won’t lt her mind stray from the feelings developing between them, though she couldn’t stand them. Her heart was about to burst out of her throat from all the anticipation! And luckily she had on granny panties, or her cute ones woulda been soaked through, she was not ready for this.

No way is a friend speaking to her this way, he actually does want her! But is it too soon? She did say this wasn’t supposed to be a date, but is a kiss before a date no making this one? And what about-

M’Baku made her mind hush as needed, soon as his lips touched hers. It wasn’t rushed, there was no crash, which means they had been inching toward one another without her even realizing. Damn these pheromones! Their lips rested into one another, like a long distance love affair finally being consummated at first glance in person. Her stresses melted away like the butter he cooked with as she parted her mouth slow to allow his tongue to come in…

“Mama? Where did you go?” Xavier

“You took her out, remember? But Baba is so strong I can never get him. One day…”

The parental ear is still keen even in a primal moment as they part from one another to heed the call. Popping up from behind the counter, Remi announces, “Who’s ready to eat?”

“Meee!” The children sing as they come to sit down at the table.

“Meee too…” M’Baku says with a frog in his throat, coughing a little. Remi tries to catch his eye as the gather the assortment of food, but he uses his height to just overlook her, slight sheen to his brow as they set out to have dinner.

---

“Thank you for cooking!” Xavier says, holding his mother’s hand while twisting his little body around.

“No problem! I’ll have to make you something more, you cleaned your plate well!” M’Baku says giving him a high five. Xavier nods proudly.

Remi smiles, giving her son a squeeze. “I haven’t seen him eat that many fresh vegetables since they were mashed and in a jar. Hey X, go ahead and clean up your toys so we can get ready for bed.” Xavier flies over to complete the task

“Jola, go ahead and help.” M’Baku instructs his daughter.

As the kids clean, M’Baku and Remi look at one another, and then away nervously.

“Well, thank you for dinner.” Remi says to the floor.

M’Baku puts his hands in his pockets, bending down a little to get in her line of vision. “No, it was teamwork.”

“Please all I did was provide the kitchen.”

“...which is all I needed. You ever tried to cook without a kitchen? It’s not very easy today.” M’Baku shakes his head like a curmudgeonly old man.

Remi smiles. “Kids don’t know how good they have it!”

M’Baku smiles. “There it is.”

“What?” Remi says with confusion.

M’Baku steps toward her, making his posture smaller even though it was impossible. “Your smile.”

“Oh…”Remi moans with embarrassment.

“It’s good, I can understand if you don’t show it more. Someone might steal it.” M’Baku says in a low tone, looking at her again like he did behind the counter.

Remi’s breathing deepened again as that feeling came over her. If she didn’t know any better, some might believe it to be signs of a heart attack, but no. Lust just hit her that hard.

“Thanks for the warning. Maybe-”

“Baba! I’m done!” Jolasun says, running up to his side as he picks her up.

“Ok! Let’s go! Say bye to X!”

They all say goodbye as they walk out the door, Remi closes it with a forlorn sigh. Remi puts a chatty Xavier to bed as he recounts the fun times him and Sunny had together. When he finally drifts off, Remi admires her boy, playing his he braids gently as he snores. Her mind goes in so many directions as her baby sleeps peacefully: Ron and their relationship, her job at the shop and eventually opening her own. Remi rubs her temples at the thought of all she has to consider and what she wishes she could just give up on. But life doesn’t work that way, As she went to her room, she thought of M’Baku and how he spoke with her, making her feel like a damn queen when she felt like anything but. His strong hands and the way they worked around the kitchen, around her hands, and the potential of them working in tandem with the kiss from before.

Remi lays back in bed alone and wondering if she could rekindle that feeling again. M’Baku told her that her smile was all he wanted, but she never said what feeling he gave her that she couldn’t get rid of if she tried. It’s so silly these crushes people get when they aren’t based on anything but hormones and luck. And Remi has a streak of not being that lucky.

She reaches for her phone off the charger and opens it to a notification message. The name she saved it under made her think she was getting hacked but she forgot Babe the Blue Ox was the moniker she bestowed upon him.

She reads the message once, twice, thrice, and couple more times for good measure before she lies back, stretching her limbs with satisfaction and a smile. It was happening.

Thinking of that smile of yours and hope it’s what you have on before you go to bed. Let’s plan to see it again soon. Adults only?

Masterlist

Ragtag

@yaachtynoboat711 @chaneajoyyy @bidibidibombaclaat@sarcastic-sunshines @great-neckpectations @wakanda-inspired @klaine15689 @foulmouthedandfanfic @nickidub718 @supersizemeplz @yofavcocoa @ashanti-notthesinger

#shakafic #play though #m'baku fic

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onepiecereactions · 5 years ago

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10 ways of getting fired of Marineford, chapters 9 and 10 on 10

if you want to see the other chapters just write “10 ways of getting fired” in my search line.

Make a monumental mess

You need money. And your mother will not let you go for a single day without repeating to you that "a pretty girl like you must quickly find a husband". You override the fact that a woman does not need a man to exist, or even that a woman has the right to not want to marry someone, or that a woman has the right to want to marry a woman etc ... This is another subject.

But on the one hand, you say that you work too much (which is not true), that your wardrobe is not full of clothes (which is not true) and that you are poor (it is true). So you are going to do both at the same time: you are going to marry a rich marine. And for that, you must go for high ranking marines, vice-admiral at least. But since your colleagues are pretty cold, you're going to need help. So you go to a witch's house incognito (not Nami, she's busy) and buy a love filter. The witch (not Nami, she is busy) explains that you will have to be very careful and use only one drop blah blah blah otherwise apocalypse blah blah blah. You pay and you leave without listening, as usual.

Some hours later, you enter Sengoku’s office with a crash (he did not repair the door, it's useless with you). The Buddha is having tea with Tsuru. You bow to the Admiral and come out a whole speech on forgiveness and mercy, that you are sorry for your behavior bla bla bla that you wants to become a proud soldier blah blah blah and that you wish to repent in cooking for all Marineford tonight. Sengoku drops his cup. But he finally agrees.

You prepare kilos of carbonara pasta for all the soldiers. You carefully incorporate a few drops of the love filter and, damn the whole pot has fallen into it. You sigh, pick up the empty pot and lick your fingers full of sauce. You bake everything in the oven, a huge smile on your lips.

[A few hours later].

It's chaos, the apocalypse. You hid in the bathroom to escape these demons. You are in tears. All the soldiers are kissing each other, you have seen two admirals go in an office, Hina and Smoker have thrown themselves on each other in the middle of the carbonaras. And nobody wants you. Absolutely nobody. Sengoku, who had not eaten the pasta because he is gluten intolerant, is stalking you like a mad dog in the whole base. Your life is in danger, so you planned to spend the whole week in the toilet. If you go out you are fired.

Make everything explode, involuntarily obviously.

Kizaru is a great man. Maybe a little silly but great anyway. You asked to be transferred to his division and, in order for your request to be accepted by the Yellow Admiral, you simply put on a white open tshirt. And it hit the mark: you were taken! So here you are on his ship. The admiral, nose immersed in your tshirt, gives you lessons of navigation. You are a woman of ambition: you will become a navigator, no one will catch you on the seas.

You finally arrive at Marineford and the admiral, unaware, gives you vague information on how to "park" the ship in the middle of all the others. Except that when you get closer to the port, you panic. The Sengoku’s goat is bathing right in front of your ship. In a movement of total panic you turn the rudder thoroughly. The ship is almost turned around. Kizaru is thrown to the other end of the ship. All the men scream. And your ship is coming into the other ships present. You see the scene in slow motion. The front of your ship pierces Akainu's ship and rips it in half. Then follows a phenomenal explosion, surely the powder. You have just destroyed all the ships of Marineford. Repairs will be taken on your pay. Sengoku is choked and yells that you're fired. You will certainly have to prostitute yourself until the end of your life to be able to pay you bread. But at least the goat is doing very well.

#one piece #Admiral Sengoku #one piece sengoku #10 ways of getting fired #Kizaru

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humankoalaa · 6 years ago

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this episode 🤣

camouflage? who dis? we don’t know her. Jefferson suit gots the cure for herpes im convinced.

Lmaaoooo the way Jefferson fell after getting hit in the head 🤣🤣 y’all see how he turned his head? childish.

Jenn breaking my heart rn.

lmao she said “sort of” GIRL IT IS ABOUT KHALIL. ok.

“they might send me to nun school if i do that” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 i love jenn. so damn petty.

she just wants her family and to be normal 😭 protect my bb at all costs.

gambi dead ass casually eavesdropping and drawing a motorcycle that i fully expect to build itself and end world hunger cause gambi is chuck Norris and can do all things through Christ. and then a gun next to him. clearly he’s ready for the reckoning.

wait gambi got lil muscles tho y’all see them arms? hell im gay as hell but them arms i almost questioned if this is the life for me. then i remembered i threw up on a dick once so that’s that.

LMAOOOO looker if you don’t get your teen link looking ass off my screen. ion have the time for this foolishness. “I tried to model myself after you” 🤣🤣 MEANWHILE she says shes not racist. yet she tryna kill the black baby. giiiirrrlllll WhAt iS tHe TrUtH?! just a lil racist orrrr racist when its convenient? I 👏🏾 NEED 👏🏾ANSWERS 👏🏾

jefferson 🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ “no your tshirt would say I killl and hang perdi from trees. YALL IM CRYN. now thats the type is savagery i need from Jefferson. he still the king of L’s but he’s trying.

looker and her peasants got to be the simplest errr kidnappers? in the world? . .. like .. HoW yOu GoNnA eLeCtRoCuTe SoMeOnE wItH IiGhTnInG iN tHeIr NaMe?! 🤣🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ i can’t. i just can’t 😂💀

PAUSE.. anything walks it’s ass or jump out a bag on its own rolling around and shit im gone. fuck the baby moms err body.

KOBE! i see you Lynn.

oooh bih looker done slapped jeff 🤦🏾‍♀️ ANOTHER L for mr. pierce. he’s taken 3 L’s so far in this episode....it’s been 10 minutes. k.

ooooo imma renig on that cause he just beat the cat shit outta them peasants. DAS MY BOIIIIIII!

“thanks for the charge tho” 😂

that no look punch 🤣😩💀 jefferson ain’t here for nobody’s shit rn.

Khalil and jenn rn... pains me to admit this is a beautiful scene.

HE KNOWS. JEFFERSON KNOWS!

anissa in leather. DROOL. i want to thank pigs, buffalos, crocodiles, sheep’s, goats and cows for their professionalism, unrelenting perseverance and loyal devotion to their duties. cause... leather.

episode after episode i say the same thing this gots to be the ghettoest reverend in the world 🤣 like what reverand needs to carry a strap? 😂 lahhddd fix it gzus.

ahh shit here go Tobias.

look at khalil 🤦🏾‍♀️ he gon cry in the car WAYMENT he done took off 😂

Khalil.... so we just gon hide behind trash cans? i promise... you dumber than you look. k.

jenn invented ride or die. fite me!

HENDERSON 😭 ... “is that a baby?” bruh... what it look like?

OOOOOHHH BIH YAAASSSS JENN YAAAASSSSS BABY LIGHTNING USING HER POWERS IM CRYING 😭 ugh they grow up so fast.

khalil lookin at jenn like shes goku from dragonball-z is a mood.

looker wants to be Zelda so bad.

IVE MISSED ANISSA AND THIs DAMN SUIT SO MUCH 😭

i ain’t even see that fight yet but i already know looker and her peasants cants handle and don’t wants dat smoke.

that stomp is just really attractive and like i just wanna be the floor.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 looker... what are those nails gonna do? ugh when will they learn.

maannnn this ain’t even a fair fight. im deeaaddd. looker .. baby.. you tried.. thank u, next.

now i wanna be lookers neck.

thunder clap 🤤 i wanna be her palms 🤣🤣

lol the fact that this bitch needed an entire pick up basketball team to beat anissa.

BOUT GOT DAMN TIME JEFFERSON! the fuck were you doing? stretching?

BRUUUHHHHHH 😦i

anissa going full nerd 😍 im pregnant.

🤣🤣 jeff don’t have the slightest clue what shes babbling about 😩

OMG “please stop” 😩😭

“i will pay you to stop” IM GONE YALL DECEASED.

jeff has officially redeemed himself. all inherited L’s from this episode well... let’s not get ahead ourselves.

MAN GIVE ME THUNDERGRACE OR RUN ME MY FADE.

man they wrong for that 😩 got her thinking her babies are dead 🤦🏾‍♀️

WAYMENT .. where’d her dads dreads go? he just had ablit 14 dreads in his head now they’re gone.. 🤭

lol ty. let me prepare for my demise.

ITS TIME!

anissa causally watching girlfriends cackling like she didn’t just basically kill looker and beat up a basketball team is A+ unintentional comedy. an unbothered Queen i stan.

grace caressimg Anissa’s leg is a whole ass vibe. she wants buns and you can’t tell me otherwise.

chantal and nafessa are beautiful.

“well i know you fine” 🤣🤣

the look grace gave her and anissa just dying is a MOOOODDDDD.

HOLY SHIT.

(sidenote how is grace STILL attractive as a reptile? idk what she is but im so SO down)

I KNEW IT! jefferson just knew that was gambis broken drone 🤣

HIT HIS ASSSS ... then apologize and respect your elders jeff.

soft ass. like jeff you could’ve smacked him first dammit.

lmao and somehow lynn manages to irritate tf outta me with that damn worry face pause blink 😩 i love her tho.

GO AWWFFFF LYNN

snitch.

soooooo jenn can legit errr end humanity? got it. ... we been knew 🙄

ok like i don’t care about this.

seriously jenn 😒 I WAS ROOTING FOR U WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR U!

wow..... they seriously cut thundergrace scenes lololol.

hm... or not?

#black lightning #black lighting spoilers #thundergrace #chantal thuy #anissa pierce

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windypenguin · 7 years ago

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HEY. HEY MIST. ALL OF THE EVENS FOR "MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF" QUESTIONS >:3 BECAUSE I'M A SHITTER AND I LOVE YOU

oh god so many

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?an...ex?

4. Is trust a big issue for you?mm mostly no

6. What are you excited for?gonna be startin dnd!!! :D

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?i think its weird that people would get really wasted, not just girls

10. What is the last beverage you had?obviously apple juice

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?yes. just one tho and i dont wear it that often

14. What are you going to spend money on next?who knows probably my sub for ffxiv lol

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?doesnt everybody? (but also im in a new work environment so like YeP)

18. The last time you felt broken?someone questioning me about being ace and doing the typical “what if you saying that is preventing you from finding someone”

20. Are you starting to realize anything?i might let people consider me a friend way too quickly? like...theres someone who at this point seems to think im his best friend and im pretty sure that i wont consider him a friend ever bc no shared interests and diff personalities :/

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?FUCK NO

24. What do you want right this second?to not be tired. also. for it to be tomorrow bc we’re startin dnd :D

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?yep! ive never actually dyed my hair

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?a picture of a potato that *doesnt* have pince nez...yet

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?depends on what they did

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?...feelings...for someone...the people i care about as friends know it

34. Listening to?atm, rtextralifebut also taz :D

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?my parents are still at the house i grew up in?(i havent had a romantic kiss, no)

38. Who did you last call?my parents bc they wanted to check up on me

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?see 36

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?this is difficult since i dont live with them anymore BUT if they were here, yes

44. Do you tan in the nude?nO

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?nope i just passed out after staying up until nearly 5 for no reason >.>

48. Do you sing in the shower?heLl YES

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?yes in PE

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?did you mean: wonderful?

54. Ever eat a pierogi?a what now

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?i never had ambition as a child or now

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?nope

60. Wear slippers?no but someone once got me sweet panda slippers

62. What do you wear to bed?a soft tshirt thats a size too big

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?target

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?cheetos any day man

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?mmmmm can screaming like a goat count

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?future...spouse...?

72. Ever won a spelling bee?i dont know ive ever been in a spelling bee

74. What is your favorite book?anything tamora pierce or rick riordan

76. Regularly burn incense?nope

78. Who would you like to see in concert?eh *shrugs*

80. Hot tea or cold tea?i dont usually drink tea buT hot tea for sure

82. Favorite type of cookie?chocolate chip duh

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?yes

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?band

88. Ever have plastic surgery?lol no

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?be safe about it?

92. Do you want to get marriedmeH

#me #mine #about me #there were so many that were like relationship related lol #ikallawrites #ask me

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shirtshoping · 4 years ago

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tshirt shoping 21.5

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0 notes

what-my-bones-said · 5 years ago

Note

ALL OF THEM WHORE

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? shy but a good student

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? glass cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? I mean probably preppy because of how I dress for teaching?

7. earbuds or headphones? Headphones

8. movies or tv shows? tv shows

9. favorite smell in the summer? suntan lotion

10. game you were best at in p.e.? the game where I lost early and got to stand on the side and watch

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? right now, cereal. Usually, oatmeal or fried eggs.

12. name of your favorite playlist? My country playlist on spotify

13. lanyard or key ring? lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? The Things they Carried by Tim O’Brien

16. most comfortable position to sit in? nothing, I am constantly changing the position I sit in. I can’t sit still

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? My Sperrys or my white crocs

18. ideal weather? Sunny with a nice warm breeze

19. sleeping position? on my side typically but I move a lot at night

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? notebook with a pen-- but usually I write on my phone because it’s convenient

21. obsession from childhood? umm.. I don’t know? If I had any?

22. role model? My mom

23. strange habits? watching pimple popping videos

24. favorite crystal? Celestine

25. first song you remember hearing? Zombie by The Cranberries

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Bask in the sun and drink

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Curl up in a ball and watch tv bc I hate the cold

28. five songs to describe you? That describe me?? Okay. We’ll try. Man! I Feel Like a Woman-Shania Twain. I Don’t Wanna Be-Gavin Degraw. Who I Am- Jessica Andrews. She Keeps Me Warm-Mary Lambert. This is Me- The Greatest Showman Soundtrack

29. best way to bond with you? Deep conversations, lots of snacks, and good beer

30. places that you find sacred? the docks at mount holyoke, the woods leading up to the docks

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ooo... khakis, pink button down, and blazer OR a kick ass dress, depending on the mood.

32. top five favorite vines? “LOOK AT ALL THOSE CHICKENS.” , It’s an avocado! Thanks!”, “I SMELL LIKE BEEEEF”, “THAT’S MY OPINION”, “That’s what good pussy sounds like”

33. most used phrase in your phone? “I love you” & Yikes bikes

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? WOW that’s a low price!

35. average time you fall asleep? 11:00

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? The baby one? idk honestly

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase is easier to carry

38. lemonade or tea? tea but i love me some lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon meringue pie

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? my senior year for part of our senior prank my friend brought a keg full of mountain dew to school and people did keg stands in the parking lot

41. last person you texted? wifey

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? love a good cardi

44. favorite scent for soap? i have a new mango one that I really like

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? sweatpants and a big tshirt/longsleeve in the winter, basketball shorts in the summer.

47. favorite type of cheese? ooo... I’m going to go with goats cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? A pomegranate-- i will explain only if asked.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “We have to create. It is the only thing louder than destruction” -Andrea Gibson

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? idk my wife says a lot of funny things

51. current stresses? not being able to fly and see my wife, my kids not being in the classroom for the rest of the year... basically the state of the world.

52. favorite font? I’m a boring hoe that loves Times New Roman... also into Playfair though.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Dry as hell and not holding my wife’s... so... not good.

54. what did you learn from your first job? That not everybody has the same opportunities as me and I should be thankful that I was able to get a college education....

also that drive thru sucks and you should appreciate fast food workers bc their job is shit.

55. favorite fairy tale? Hansel and Gretel is fun

56. favorite tradition? Christmas party at my parent’s house

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? My grandmother dying is my biggest one, and the struggle of having anxiety is one I’m constantly trying to overcome

58. four talents you’re proud of having? poetry writing, I guess I can sing?, and act a little bit?, teaching-- because I feel like it is a talent

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? absolutely no idea.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Something like Ouran High School Host Club

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? “There is no dishonor in losing the race. There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose.”- The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

62. seven characters you relate to? Tina from Bob’s Burgers, Piggie from the Elephant and Piggie books, Rory from Gilmore Girls, Part of Monica from Friends, parts of Joey from Friends, Linda from Bob’s Burgers, Oscar the Grouch from Seasame Street

63. five songs that would play in your club? Yeah!-Usher, Dancing Queen- ABBA, Man! I Feel Like a Woman- Shania Twain, Maneater- Nelly Furtado, Work it- Missy Elliot

64. favorite website from your childhood? Addicting Games

65. any permanent scars? A small scar on my wrist from burning myself on the oven

66. favorite flower(s)? Lilies

67. good luck charms? My wife

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? GRAPE

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Otters hold hands

70. left or right handed? right handed

71. least favorite pattern? Paisley

72. worst subject? Math

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Ketchup and Mac and Cheese... not really flavors but

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 7

75. when did you lose your first tooth? no idea

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? how could I ever pick a favorite potato food when I love them all equally? Except tater tots. Tater tots can go away.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? Cactus

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Sush

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school ID

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? fireflies

82. pc or console? pc

83. writing or drawing? writing

84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket? POLLY POCKET

85. fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies

87. your greatest fear? plane crash

88. your greatest wish? world peace? also to be living on the same continent as my wife

89. who would you put before everyone else? my wife and my family

90. luckiest mistake? no clue

91. boxes or bags? bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights

93. nicknames? my dad calls me gert (like gertrude)

94. favorite season? fall

95. favorite app on your phone? My homescapes app

96. desktop background? just the blue windows background. I’m boring and should change that

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? three including mine

98. favorite historical era? Renaissance?

0 notes

perfectlyhappypumpkin · 5 years ago

Text

This was one of those "ask me" things but I was bored so I just did em myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? nope

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Technically

3. Have you taken someones virginity? Don't think so

4. Is trust a big issue for you? I'm working on it

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Sorta

6. What are you excited for? My boyfriend coming to visit me eventually

7. What happened tonight? Tonight hasn't happened yet. But last night there was a wonderful conversation about goats

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? I mean nah, to each their own. But it's not really my thing either

9. Is confidence cute? Yeah.

10. What is the last beverage you had? The milk from my cereal

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Like... 2? Maybe ?

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Kinda?

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Dunno tbh. Probably nothing exciting. Maybe drink

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Probably food if I'm honest 😂

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Nope

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I hope so

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My therapist tbh

18. The last time you felt broken? Two days ago?

19. Have you had sex today? Nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything? Maybe

21. Are you in a good mood? Yus

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Ehhh not really

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? No

24. What do you want right this second? My boyfriend

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I'd probably just cry, and maybe ask why.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Lmao no

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Honestly probably not

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? My boyfriend

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Mhmms

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Yes and no.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Nope

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? I sure hope so.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? I wish I could be sometimes.

34. Listening to? My boyfriends nephew baby talking

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Sometimes

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Yep I think so.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I believe in attraction at first sight, but not love

38. Who did you last call? Boyfranddd

39. Who was the last person you danced with? Oh Jesus I don't know, I don't dance

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I liked her

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Couple months ago?

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? Nah

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Probably

44. Do you tan in the nude? I don't tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Nah.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Yep

47. Who was the last person to call you? Boyfraaannddd

48. Do you sing in the shower? Sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car? Occasionally

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yep

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Fucking high school?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Not at all

53. Is Christmas stressful? Yeah

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Mhmm

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Uhmmm blueberry? Or maybe apple. Tbh I prefer pumpkin

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A singer and a vet

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Sorta

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Many times

59. Take a vitamin daily? I should but no

60. Wear slippers? Sometimes

61. Wear a bath robe? Rarely

62. What do you wear to bed? Usually just pajama bottoms and a tshirt

63. First concert? First real concert was MCR(or the reason I went) but there was also like taking back Sunday and HIM and some other bands too

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart, only because that's what we got here. Wish we had a target

65. Nike or Adidas? Neither

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Depends

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Not a huge fan. But prolly the one with Brendon Urie

69. Ever take dance lessons? Nope

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Whatever makes them Happy

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes? I think?

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Nah, I qualified for one then misspelled my first word... Guitar 😂😭 to be fair his pronunciation of it was GITAR

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yep

74. What is your favorite book? All the Harry Potter books, hunger games books, also love the book Keeping you a secret by Julie Anne Peters

75. Do you study better with or without music? I dunno tbh

76. Regularly burn incense? Nah

77. Ever been in love? Yep

78. Who would you like to see in concert? MCR panic at the Disco, twenty one pilots, fall out boy. Idk ik there's more

79. What was the last concert you saw? mCR and Blink 182

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Cold normally

81. Tea or coffee? Both

82. Favorite type of cookie? Prolly good ole fashioned chocolate chip

83. Can you swim well? Yep

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yep

85. Are you patient? Not really. Tho I try

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Probably dj.

87. Ever won a contest? Yeah when I was little I won a giant stuffed Charmander

88. Ever have plastic surgery? Technically. But not really

89. Which are better black or green olives? Neither 🤮

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Have at it

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room prolly?

92. Do you want to get married? Yep

0 notes

ajsansworld · 5 years ago

Text

Time

On a small farm next to a tiny lived a bubbly little girl named abby. She was eight years old but only looked six with skinny shoulders and short legs. Even the blond hair that her mother forced into curls every morning was childish. She didn't complain though, at least she was allowed to wear her muddy jeans and torn tshirts around the farm. Her next door neighbor Billy wasn't allowed to. One speck of dust sent his mom into a rage. Why she lived on a farm no one could understand, but she did, and spent all her time cleaning the small house on their property.

Most days her and Billy would walk along the fence that separated them and make up stories for awhile before chasing each other inside to watch a movie before our nightly chores started. Today was different she had something special for the last day of summer.

She got up at six and fed the goats, cows,and chickens before taking the eggs and placing them gently in her basket. She then quickly swept the layer of dirt off the back porch that came back every day no matter what. Once she ran back inside her mom was ready with breakfast and the curlers and a brush to force the tangled mess into a beautiful cascade.

When the torture ended she ran upstairs and grabbed her bag stuffed with everything they'd need right as she heard a knock at her front door. Her feet slipped on the wooden floor but she made it just as her dad opened the door to let a heartbroken Billy inside. His brown hair instead of lying flat flew everywhere and his perfectly cleaned shirt looked rumpled.

His mom stood behind him angrily waiting for him to speak, when he didn't she pushed him out of the way and spoke directly to abby.

"He's going go private school today and won't be back until Christmas you can say your goodbyes now but we have to catch the train soon." Her words stunned the poor girl as she looked at her friend for the last time. His crestfallen face gave her the courage to ask one favor.

"Can we please bury our time capsule first? I promise we'll be quick." Her eyes flashed and I could see the word no form on her lips when his father spoke from the car.

"Go on. You better hurry." Neither of them thought to think twice as they ran through the house and out the back door heading straight towards the willow tree that sat on the back corner of her property.

When they were safely under the protection of the leaves abby took the small shovel from her bag and started the hole as Billy arranged the items in the box. A few toys and a lot of pictures of them both along with two notes covered in inside jokes. All memories they didn't want to lose if he went away.

Just as the shovel was digging its last few scoops of dirty abby hit something. She thought it was a root at first until she hit it again and heard the clang of metal. She dug around the large object and pulled it out of its safe hole. She wanted to look more throughly but Billy needed to go. So they packed their box into the hole and made a pact. 10 years from now when she was 18 and he was twenty they would come back and open the box together. Billy ran back to the waiting car while abby sat and watched him through the leaves with a freshly filled hole on her left and a heavy bullet like object on her lap.

She looked at the box in her hand and felt its weight, it was heavy but felt almost empty on the inside. She lifted it higher and shook the container a few times hearing a rattle like something was inside. There was no way to get inside of it though, no creases or dents showed a spot to twist or prod, and the bullet was soon forgotten in her impatience.

It sat on a shelf in her bedroom for ten years hidden behind books that kept changing from year to year. Her hair grew out and was no longer curled, her dirty jeans became clean and her tshirts could never be torn. It had been ten years since Billy had left, two months later his parents divorced and sold the farm. She had hoped he might come by over a winter or summer break but he never did.

Now it was her time to leave, she had said goodbye to her friends and her school. She had packed up her clothes and placed them all inside the tiny beat up red car she'd gotten for graduation. She had one day before orientation started and she planned on wandering the farm one last time and opening the capsule alone.

She walked to the backyard and saw the smattering of animals in their own little areas while her father worked in a field where he became just a dark dot among the golden landscape. She shuffled along feeling the weight of a metal bullet in her old backpack as she made her way to the tree thinking about Billy and all they'd missed out on. She had gotten a few letters over the years all about how awful it was and how much he wanted to be back. She sent encouragement with pictures as she tried to not show how much she missed her best friend.

Those stopped on his sixteenth birthday when her letter was returned unopened when a note saying he left. She hasn't heard from him for four years and it almost felt like torture. She could no longer face the pain she felt so she cut her walk short and ran to the tree covered in thick green leaves. Entering the cool empty spot she couldn't help the cry that came out. Leaving everything behind meant she would no longer be able to wake up to him waiting for another adventure. She had to move on. She opened the bag and grabbed the shovel and the metal box out of the bag ready to start.

Just looking at the spot she'd marked made to heartbreak worse so she turned toward the box instead. She'd tried to open it a few times over the years but never made a dent in the metal. Yet somehow as she looked at it now, she noticed along a small rust spot near the top that held a back hole in its center. She grabbed the shovel and hit it again and again against the metal until a gash appeared wide enough to let something small drop out. A small locket and a note hit her hand.

The locket held a picture of someone who looked just like her and young man with brown hair styled in an old fashioned bowl cut. The note said simply

'wait for me'- love B

Knowing it had to be an ancestor didn't help her feelings of sadness at the letter. The mystery was gone and she felt only defeat. She placed the locket around her neck and the shovel next to the marker before standing up ready to leave her childhood behind her.

When a shadow fell against the leaves she figured her father wanted one last chat so she pulled the leaves apart just to see an empty road leading back to the house. She took a step and then another before turning around and seeing the shape of a man vaguely outlined in front of her.

She shook her head trying to clear her vision but continued to see the otherworldly shape. "Either come back to me or leave me alone Billy." With that she turned and walked around her childhood home and straight to her tightly packed car. Only to find a twenty year old Billy leaning against the door in dirty jeans and a dusty tshirt with a wide smile on his face.

0 notes

angry-mango · 6 years ago

Text

103 questions

Alisons: Sexuality? ollie

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender? she/her, female

Amaryllis: Birthday? december 28

Anemone: Favorite flower? snapdragons

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? i have a lot right now but it’ll probably always be supernatural

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger? like 2 hours

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? i love quotes but i don’t really have a favorite

Aubrieta: Favorite drink? arizona green tea

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? n/a i’ve never kissed anyone

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? currently 😌

Baneberries: Favorite song? my blood (tøp)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family. complicated

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it? i have two: ollie and jonathan

Begonia: Favorite color? black or red

Bellflower: Favorite animal? sloth

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person? both

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be? a sloth

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? love them but like? also hate them but i feel like it’s way different when it’s yours and you know how to raise them does that make sense

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why? losing people, bad storms, the uncontrollable

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. i ate cat food once

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? i’d fly to ohio and kiss ollie

Buttercup: Relationship Status? basically taken

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? that cat cafe in japan

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? talking to ollie

Canna: Do you have any tattoos? not yet (devastating, i know)

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings? two on each ear

California Poppy: Height? five one

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts? yes

Carnation: What are you currently wearing? black tshirt, jean shorts (what a rare sighting)

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight? yes

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged? jonathan

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed? my cat

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font? haven’t used fonts in a while but i’m pretty sure it’s georgia

Columbine: Are you tired? permanently

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to? right now, getting my income tax

Coneflower: Dream job? vet tech but who knows i might change my mind in a couple days (although i’m pretty sure this time)

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert? introvert

Crocus: Have you ever been in love? you already asked this, dumbass

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about? hours

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? this bunny from build a bear, i named her swirly cuz she has almost like a rosette pattern on her fur, i still have her

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign? capricorn

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? no

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? surviving up til now

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? uh sorry bout that

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to? ollie

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? gaming i guess

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at? literally everything

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month? 1- ive lost 5 pounds this month 2- ollie makes me really soft and i’m just super in love with her 3- i bought some new clothes and they’re two sizes down so it makes me really happy to wear them

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? it’s actually been great

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life? not really but i’m working on it

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? hopefully get my ged, start working on college or some kind of second education like that, and maybe meet ollie cuz i don’t wanna wait any longer >:(

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life? ollie, my mom, my gamecube, my cats, my bee necklace, my tahitian bracelet, fall out boy, twenty one pilots, my ipad, and my pillow

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? ollie (i know she’s been in like 30 of these answers but it’s the truth), sometimes just breathing and sitting on the floor, doing my hair

Hellebore: How do you show affection? idk i’m really bad at it but i try? i usually remind them like a hundred times a day that i love them, check up on them, buy them stuff (only if i REALLY love them though)

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of? i defeated the shadow queen at age 6 >:)

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day. sounds lazy but literally watching tv with a cozy blanket

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time? video games

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them? ollie: through instagram, five months. jonathan: middle school, six years

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything? y’all already know.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have? i wanna say four friends but there’s other acquaintances that i’m close to

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? ollie called me pretty once or like twelve times

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself? disgusting. don’t talk to me about that thing.

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? uh i can bake a mad chocolate chip cookie

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself? myself

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child? i liked littlest pet shop and eating breakfast idk

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? the r*xana 😔

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for? dropping out of school

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about? mental illnesses

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? annie means grace. while my mom was pregnant, she had a dream where a curly haired little girl with a round face was running and she kept calling “annie” so she decided to name me that. weirdly enough, as i grew up, i had the same curly brown hair and round face that she saw in her dream.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it. i grew up in a small house with my mom and dad until i was six. i don’t want to talk about it here because it’s kinda private and personal and i don’t wanna share it with the world.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? my bedroom used to be really messy but as i grew up and developed my ocd everything’s pretty neat most of the time

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years? i’m still a teenager calm down. it’s horrible there’s too much pressure i wanna be twelve again

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom. she’s amazing but she also makes me feel like shit a lot

Onions: Tell about your dad. where do i begin. used to be a complete asshole until a couple years ago he got a girlfriend that completely turned him around bless her soul. she broke up with him though. distant but i still love him with all my heart. i worry about him alot.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents. moms mom (granny)- lives with me, i have to love her cuz she provides for us but god damn she gets on my nerves and i’m pretty sure she hates me. moms dad- used to be really cool, disappeared for six years, came back two years ago, now he’s an alcoholic, has dementia, and is a complete asshole. he’s dead to me. dads mom- the kind of grandparent that appears during holidays and birthdays and stuff and then disappears for most of the year. dads dad- wasn’t too close to him, but he died six months ago from cancer and i got pretty sad about it. he looked a lot (a lot) like my dad but just much older, so to see him in the hospital bed with all the tubes attached to him.. it was pretty emotional.

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable? most memorable birthday was probably age six i think?? i had a really cool birthday party at a park with some first grade friends, and i took an iconic picture thats super cute and i still look at occasionally but it’s hard bc it’s got the r*xana in it

Peony: What was your first job? i’ve never had one

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any? met her through instagram

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain? grit my teeth, walk around, distract myself

Pink: Where is home? technically, miami. but home is a feeling.

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? i don’t know, really. i know it’s impossible and it’s totally metaphorical but if i could, not only could i not choose just one, but i do believe in destiny and i worry that if i change something then everything down the road would change and maybe i wouldn’t have met you her.

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. i don’t really look up to anyone i just wanna be a good person and i also wanna be thin.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life. well number one, this would take forever, number two, youre the only person that’s probably gonna read this and and you already know

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? the basics: santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life? hmm i wonder who 😌

Rose: What’s your favorite sound? everything’s quiet except for the rain falling on the window, maybe some light music in the background

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? i don’t want to think about this right now

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? also don’t want to think about this right now

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? you

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? it’s usually really difficult but you make it so easy somehow

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without? once again, you. but also gamecube or flowers or bagels or hoodies or nail polish

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? a lot actually? i think like eight hours woah that’s a weeks worth

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? i’m about to copy and paste these answers they’re getting repetitive

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job? pretty good, being that i don’t have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing? generally? hoodies. my personal one? it’s either my new black pants or my trench hoodie

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. damn i don’t even know 🥵 it’s probably white or light furniture and windows with natural light shining in on houseplants and nice comfortable sofas

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you? i love clothes or flowers or money

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? i’m not stressed about anything at this minute so i don’t wanna think about something that’s stressing me out because then i’ll start stressing about it

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called? i read the fallen queen on wattpad does that count

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year? hopefully getting somewhere with my education. i’d love to get my ged instantly but i’m not gonna pressure myself or be upset at myself if i don’t pass the test the first time. i might have to take classes for it, and that’s okay. i hope.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is? whasthat

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself. i hate food but love cooking/baking

#questions #omh this took me two hours

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jameypants1-blog · 7 years ago

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Reading Makes A Country Great MY PET GOAT Emergency 911 The Terror War begins Ignorance is Bliss stand Proud and United rally around the Flag cross your heart swear to Sacrifice thank the least among you for their military home invasion mass murder Service keeping Authority placated rock the Vote respect the Law and State's Finest army of police who serve and protect them, Respect the Honor and Authority of the blind justice arbitrated by ritual black robed Judges and the prejudiced juries of peers any skilled Liar can persuade to Verdict The educated are educated to Accept The Free are not Brave enough to Resist Swear to tell the Truth so help you God is an Obscenity and offensive to a populace bursting with the enlightenment of Science, the premise that Flesh is the Origin of Species and Intelligence a side effect of gas Love thy Leader Hate thy neighbor Kill and chain thy neighbor Earn your Keep Pay your Taxes Death is certain It is not the size of the horn but how it's used that betrays best gets praised for elite public service Performance How fortunate it is for leaders that men do not think, Hitler intimated, forthcoming as any candidate for Office who smiles kissing maggot babies and shaking fools hands telling each in line thanks for their support couldn't do this without them Hell hides behind details and simpering political correctness, kind words expressing best intentions the enemies of which are branded crazy and evil and dealt with. How fortunate men do not think. Lest leaders and the Hell they maintain be naked by Light of the Truth. You can handle the Truth. You can be brave and free. It's these so called elite who can't. Never ask what they can do for you or you for them. Don't give up your food stamps just yet they trade for drugs just don't Serve them, Loyalty to them is so universal I am ignored and insulted. In Contempt. That's the price of Love. Let's change that. Perception is reality is their constant refrain. It is not. Reality is this fraction of a single percent of the population is a basket of deplorables in perpetual conspiracy to violate and ruin every human being on Earth. It's shocking and horrific but people can handle the Truth. Here is Wisdom: Had a customer tonight guy in his sixties cropped back hair going gray one of those Freddy Mercury mustaches adopted by law enforcement to remind everyone they're tops cocksuckers not pigs bc pigs don't have mustaches. he was wearing a black tshirt and jeans, never seen him before, recognize most of the customers, we have the same regulars rotating through for the most part. He came in right after I did, like my second grill order after clocking in. Gave me the stinkeye, and instead of going to sit in the dining room until his order was called he stayed in the lobby, got behind the Pepsi ketchup fridge by register, from the nose up visible over the fridgetop. I was on second flip before I noticed him again, glaring at me still. Eye contact, rage in his eyes. Made his burgers to perfection, ignoring him but for sidelong peeks to see if he still there; he was still there looking pissed off. I strongly suspect him to have been involved with lie enforcement, that or ive got one of those faces brings out the hate in frustrated Dom bondage specialists. kept my face expressionless, sent the burgers out and he left not long after. Felt the loathing in the air leave with him. He hates me for my freedom, like to put me in cuffs and bugger me into some Respect for his Authority lavished from God unto Moses unto the Chosen People, the Elite, who gifted us all with the world's two biggest religions Islam and Christianity to refer to in the establishent of State, Islamic States still widely fundamentalist in extrapolations and ammendments to the fundamentals Law, even today stones striking pleading girls in the face until the glistening bone pulp shows, eyeball popped out shattered socket debt paid for her adultry of being raped by a man she wasn't married to, lacivious temptress women not tolerated, kept virtuous by Ordained killers sanctimonious witless butchers in judicious black robes black masks, love and peace delegates, spread the beautiful religion into Eastern Europe and jerusalm, effective Evangelical technique of the option to submit you are the slave of Allah, either submit or get your head looped off. Beautiful religion. The castles of Europe erected to fortify against the sacred Islamic state conquering all of Elite Europe, price of doing Business, business of giving people the business, keep them stoneage and in check until final act, today thousands of Muslim migrants fleeing Syria region where isis, the royal president, Russia and the United States are mass murdering the population in alternating sweeps all claiming success against the terrorists who are any one of the four mass destroyers depending on which regions fake news one watches, the cities in ruins, the people still left sparse and debilitated, the dregs, hundreds of thousands more turning sections of Germany France great Britain etc into ghettos, young girls being raped in public parks, a seven yo girl in France gang raped in Germany lone German teens stalked in the streets by packs of Muslim youth and beaten half to death teens boasting they will take multiple wives across region have dozens of children each and breed out the natives, conquer Europe with their cocks now that the dear leaders of the region had welcomed them in. Beautiful religion. on their knees five times a day to take a facefull of dirt groveling praises toward the black cube in Mecca which Abraham built and shat inside marking the turf, holy kabba, over ten feet tall and ten feet wide the wonder of the Islamic world which one day all of Islamic Europe shall pilgrimage to link arms and dance ring around the cubicle singing and shouting trampling each other then setting off across hard desert terrain, many every haj die along the route hail Allah that the prophet Mahomet, may he rest in stink took wandering the sand ocean from sand dune to sand valley to sand mount where pilgrims collapse into the sand and commune with Allah catching spiderwebs of shade from the spray of spindly limbed trees rising several feet high here and there, terrain as beautiful as Islam itself and straight to Judgement for those sun dried brain fried dead before completing the last leg of the blessed trudge to the sacrificial slaughter barns where depending on what slaves of Allah can afford to slice the throat of a variety of animals await blood ritual, goats camels sheep sand chickens and coming soon pigs once the half breed desert princes of Frankfurt introuce fat juicy pork weenies into the Islamic diet, blonde haired blue eyed pink bellied pigs recognized to be far too majestic to be interbred with Jews, fine swine imported from outside the East where the scruffy big snout kosher breed forages in feral packs, hear them oinking Hebrew and Yiddish gibberish rooting in alley trash like dogs, dirtiest animals in all of creation, howling and squealing together during crawl in place borg prayers tuned in to Abraham's outhouse ever amid ring around the square dancing, stumbling, trampled underfoot weaklings hoe down haj stop in the stadium built around the squat edifice that thousands may sit and cheer rendering inaudible the tinny prayers from around the globe every couple hours, dogs howling offended every prayer, kick the snarling curs at risk of losing toes and sandles get tangled up in black man dress and fall down surrounded by curly tailed rabbi and black dogs foaming at the mouth eyes rolling from echoes of lalalalalalalala eeeeeek eeeeeeek eeeeeeek barnyardesque broadcasts from loud speakers leading the haj hails between free time to marry and divorce multiple times a day and trade goats for girls to marry and divorce trade back for chickens or a dozen eggs if she's missing ears tip of her nose or digits from administering divine law rehabilitation mutilations, sometimes new divorcees only fetch a bucket of fertile shit, hobbled hunchback prolapsed asshole tounge sliced into fork for her hissing disobedience to swallow the donkey load of bountiful seed diligently fed her everyday in lieu of lunch meanwhile back at the last stop of holy haj long walk baby animals and ton tall spitting camels shriek and wail, hawk lunger loads of camel snot pink with slashed throat blood spew onto the walls, slick spots on the straw, bled out into tubs and running down beards drank in hot clotted toasts to Allah who the sacrificed animals were stacked like cordwood into earthen pits and burned to appease blessings to all and to all a good time at the hotel after parties where newly married couples meet, consumate, get divorced and the just single ladies reintroduced to next end of haj celebratent to be smitten and fallen in love until the boredom of domestic life after orgasm left him dissatisfied with this woman who used to be useful but went back to the singles mixer sore and cooperative awaiting true love perhaps next bus in full of blood spattered fresh inducties into the walkabout God's country for days purification event everyone owed it themselves to do at least once a lifetime to truly get the most out of Islam the impending new religion of the well served everywhere from Africa to Piccadilly square, to be renamed Mahomet Kaba King Boulevard erected in the center of the square a scale replica of the Kaba with Mahomet himself weilding scrimtar of faith from head to toe dressed in black mounted upon his goat horse chimera Pegasus thingy reared up like a reindeer representing the flight taken to heaven to lead the prayer circle in heaven where all had deferred to him to lead the prayer circle of Prophets in Allah's den, Jesus fresh as the Daisy he'd been since the day he'd cleverly avoided crucifixion by Jerry curling his big black bushy beard and sneaking out of town on his gf's ass while another fellow, whose beard was styled similarly to his and who had assembled a small crowd outside town to demonstrate a new stain removal product for even the toughest stains like days caked Hersey splats from loincloths see comes right out and with the herbal infused formula eliminates some of the stench of urine baked in since pissing it in a wine induced stupor earlier that afternoon as jews were known to do between assuming their posts begging for pennies outside the bank, that guy had looked and sounded like the upstart they were looking for and after his miracle product failed to impress the honorable pontus Pilate with any supernatural stain removal properties except when applied to soiled underpants, a demonstration he didn't need to see twice since his underpants indeed came out clean the first attempt, hardly a miracle but in a good mood since his ass felt and smelled so fresh after the man who kept persisting I am not the Jew you were looking for I'm just an alchemist with a revolutionary new product for removing stains the secret formula is just leavening soda and grapeseed pumice mixed with water and lavender leaves ofc it's not a miracle I am not the king of the universe I've never even met the guy no one does but he doesn't travel alone with a bucket of my new secret formula removing shit stains from underwear, he's a stand up magician or something, heard there's strippers too, Im just a humble asshole freshener your honor and feeling magnanimous floral fragrance of his anus clinging to the finger he scratched along his craft to sniff while contemplating opens the honorable Pilate said let's let these Jews outside demanding their picked pockets wallets and jewelery back stolen by the whores and at least a dozen confidence men known to be traveling with this wanted man who said fuck the centurions fuck the flag fuck hannaka fuck Elysian fields fuck the Senate fuck caesaer fuck Rome fuck caiphus fuck the Torah fuck yo mama and fuck all of you cringing sex slave submissives bending over and getting fucked everyday to earn wheat penny Caesars that aren't worth a tin shit except for your belief in Caesar says, Caesar says hail Caesar I say fuck Caesar render unto casear these piles of Caesars ugly cunt lips embossed nickles and dimes and shove em up Caesars ass let him go pawn these pieces of shit off on some other idiots bc we're Jews brothers and sisters and Jews don't need no stinking sick economy sicker fools who'd diminish themselves by going along with this madness, Caesar is a paper god you drunks this money charade is just a game and your the losers for playing so fuck him fuck Rome and fuck all these fake ass God's and curly tailed shit eating elites got us all playing along counting stacks of worthless legal tender whoopty Doo what caesar says and fuck his court of whimsy and don't bend over only ever acquire what he gives you and dont obey every stupid lie he tells you is the law, tell him to take this Nation of lies and the shiney lie sanctioned house chips he rode in on and shove it up his ass bc if you don't you'll all be spending your lives sucking Satan's cock doing as Satan says and get paid in Satan tokens worth your life loyalty and labors and in return a flag to admire and fight for a song of the murder glory of this shithole to cross your hearts and sing that all who hear it know how unified and proud you are and you'll be paid to with every Betrayal his crown can afford to give you now that you've given him lives to spend. Have a free flag coffin shroud a medal of Honor for service unto Casear human sacrife pin and a bedpan full of shiney Benjamin's to spend at super Caesars super savers everywhere Rome is maurading, hail Caesar full of grace give you nothing give him everything and that sumbitch drugged the watered down wine him and his whores and degenerates robbed us and fuck yes that's him I recognize the beard kill him set Barbarossa free and so despite insisting he was not their King nor a crook the wrong man was crucified that day and Jesus told this straight to Mahomet so you know it's true bc Mahomet word is gold then Jesus said I am the slave of Allah and Mo he's instructed me to let his biggest ho Mo lead the ass in the air prayers from now on bc I'm always broke have never tipped a red Satan cent to tithe and insist that Allah sound a dry heave so does every single thing you said Mo so you're deffo the man to lead prayer to that bullshitters bullshit, guess it keep you busy long enough not to butcher or mutilate anyone for five minutes at least. Raise your Voice be offended by this beastial religion we're diminished under by these sneering aristocrats who practice it, they're the crew can't handle the Truth. Lies are all they got. Be eloquent. Knowing and not choosing a side is just a mess. I bring you. Pallid incompotence hanging from a mic stand. Prime example of why there's no having it both ways. Fuck it 🌊 https://g.co/kgs/ACnHqS

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toomanysurveys9 · 7 years ago

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A! Do you drink Alcohol frequently? not anymore. i haven’t had a sip of alcohol since early july 2016. i will eventually drink again on occasion probably, but never like i used to. What Age are you? 24. Do you like Apples? yeah, they’re pretty good. Do you believe in Aliens? i mean... not in the sense of science fiction movies. but i’m not sure i’m comfortable saying with 100% certainty that we are the only life in the entire universe when there is so much we’ll likely never see/discover. Who is your favourite Actor/Actress? misha, jensen, and jared from supernatural.

B! Do you like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air? i used to watch it a lot..

Were you ever scared about getting Bats stuck in your hair? no... should i be? Are you always the Banker when you play Monopoly? not always, depends who i play with.

Do you like going to the Beach? yeah, usually. it’ll be better next year when wy can enjoy it too. Who do you think is the most Beautiful person in the world? my mom and sisters. C! Do you like Cats? i definitely do. Are you Charismatic? i don’t think a single person would describe me as charismatic. Do you like laying down to look at the Clouds? i don’t do that really since i’m older... Are you a pro at Checkers? definitely not. Has someone ever called you Cheap? nope. D! Are you more of a Dog person? maybe a little, but i do love cats. Do you like Disney films? love them. i’m going to watch them with wy. Do you still Decorate the house for holidays? not really my house, although i might this year with wy... depends where we are staying. Do you have a Dressing gown? no... Do you think Dinosaurs are awesome? i do love dinosaurs... i’m weird. E! Have you ever ran up the down Escalator? Or ran down the up one? maybe when i was younger. What did you Eat last? soft taco. What’s the most Expensive gift you’ve ever received? probably my laptop... How do you like your Eggs? i usually eat them scrambled. Have you ever been so angry you thought you might Explode? yeah. not often, and takes a lot, but yes. F! Would you ever want to be Famous? i’d love to be a singer but fame would suck major balls. Do you think you’re Funny? not generally. Are Flashing lights fun? i don’t generally think they are fun... When was the last time you Flew in a plane? yeeears ago. i don’t remember when exactly... Has a Folding chair ever un-folded and squished you while you were on it? no.that’d suck. G! Did you ever wear Glasses, even though you didn`t need them? no.. Have you ever eaten Glue? no, gross. Do you Give to charity? when i can.... that is not often right now.

Do you think Goats are cute? yeah. H! When was the last time you High-fived someone? wy gave me high-fives a few hours ago. Do you dye your Hair? nope.

Are you Happy with your life? at this second, yes. wy is asleep holding my hand hostage. When was the last time someone physically Hurt you? it’s been awhile. Do you always wear a Helmet when you go cycling? no. pretty much never on the rare occasion i go riding. I! What’s your favourite flavour of Ice-cream? depends where from, honestly. Could you ever live in an Igloo? no.. Do you know what an Icoceles triangle is? Isosceles triangle*, yes. <<<<< yup. What’s the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen? i don’t know. i guess phe give birth, but it was also disgusting. Do Insects freak you out? some. J! When was the last time you completed a Jigsaw? it’s been a very long time. Do you like Jam? sometimes. Tell me a Joke! i suck at joke telling.

Are you Jealous of anyone? people with their life figured out and going well.

K! Who was the last person you Kissed? wyatt, technically. Do you have a nice Kitchen? no. it’s tiny and not enough storage space. Do you like Kiwi fruit? occasionally. i have to be in the mood for them. Do you find Knock-Knock jokes hilarious? depends on the joke.... Do you tend to Keep a bunch of stuff you really don’t need? yes. it’s horrible. L! Do you think walking under a Ladder is bad luck? no. i’m not a superstitious person. Have you ever been inside a Limo? i have not. Do you really hate Losing? it’s not my favorite, but it’s kind of whatever if i do. Do you like playing with Legos? i did when i was younger. i haven’t tried recently. but i am sure i will sooner or later with wy. lol. Do you think you have a cool Laugh? i hate my laugh. M! Did you collect Marbles as a kid? not really. i had a few, but i didn’t collect them. Do you look in the Mirror a lot? no. i didn’t even know i had a scratch on my face from wy until someone mentioned it to me because i rarely look in the mirror. i wouldn’t have noticed for a long time if it hadn’t been mentioned. Do you have a Moustache? no i don’t. Could you live without Music? probably, but it’d be a little less enjoyable. i like music a lot. Do you like going to Museums? i do. but i rarely get to. N! What’s your Name? marlina. Do you like your Neighbours? i don’t know them, jake knows some, and my grandparents know some, but i’ve never talked to any. Do you watch the News? not really, no. What`s your favourite Number? don’t have one. O! Do Opposites really attract? they can, for sure. at first glance, jake and i seem to be opposites. but we have a lot in common too. Would you hate working in an Office? no, i don’t think so. it’d be better than working in a factory. Are you Open-minded? i think so. Do you think Olives are gross? green ones are gross. black are good on some things. P! When was the last time you made Pancakes? last week, or couple weeks ago. Are you wearing Pajamas? no. jeans and a tshirt. Have you ever been to Paris? i have not. Can you play the Piano? i know the basics. Do you Pull the door that says Push or Push the door that says Pull often? not often, but it does happen. Q! Are you a Quiet person? i am. it’s a common complaint with a lot of people. Do you ask too many Questions when you first meet someone? no. i don’t ask enough, probably, because i don’t say much. Are you a Quick learner? in most instances, yes. Did you know that Mythbusters proved that a Quack can echo? i did not know that. Do you know anyone called Quentin? a girl i used to be friends with had a brother named quentin. R! Do you smile everytime you see a Rainbow? not every time, but i make sure to show people when i do. they are pretty. Do you listen to the Radio all the time? not all the time. Can you Roller-blade? yeah, i can. i used to do it a lot back in the day. Do you take a Rubber-duck in the bath with you? nope. i generally take showers. wy has a rubber duck now though. it’s gray with flames. lol. Can you Run fast? i run fairly quick, but not super fast. S! What makes you Scared? there are way too many things. especially now that i’m a mom. Don’t you think Sellotape is cool? i don’t know what that is. Do you get Sick a lot? not generally. i’ve been getting more ear infections than usual though.. and i’ve been having gallbladder issues and i’ll probably be getting it removed. Do you still own a Slinky? i do not. T! Did you like Thomas the Tank Engine when you were a kid? he wasn’t my favorite cartoon. When was the last time you were in a Taxi? when i was very, very little. i don’t even remember it. Are you Thirsty? a little. Do you always remember to say Thank-you? usually. but it also depends if i get too anxious... Do you take care of your Teeth? not as good as i should have... i’ve been doing better. but in some ways, it’s a little late. U! Do you own an Umbrella? probably somewhere. Do you live Underneath anyone? nope. Do you think hanging Upside-down is fun? not anymore. i used to when i was younger. i loved the monkey bars. Have you ever put water in a rubber-glove and pretended they were Udders? i’ve put water in a rubber glove, but i didn’t pretend they were udders. Do you think you are Ugly? i know i am. V! Do you live in a Village? nope. Do you have a cool Voice? no. i don’t. What’s your Vice? lately, cookies. but that’s just because i bought super good cookie dough and made cookies. Do you still own any old Video’s? my parents do. Do you think you could survive in the Victorian era? i don’t know.. W! Are you too Warm right now? no. i’m pretty cool. Do you like Weetabix? i don’t know what that is. Do you wear a Watch everyday? i never do. i use my phone. Are you cautious about your Weight? i hate my weight right now... once i’m done breastfeeding, i am definitely doing something about it. Do you get Worried a lot? all the time about every single thing. X! Do you like to play the Xylophone? i used to like the toy ones when i was younger. Did you ever watch Xena: Warrior Princess? nope. Have you ever been X-Rayed? a few times. Are you Xenophobic? no. Did you know that X is 10 in Roman Numerals? i did know that. Y! Do you like Yogurt? i do like yogurt. especially vanilla or blueberry. Was Yesterday better than today? no. yesterday was worse. at least i was with wyatt today. Do you like the colour Yellow? it’s not my favorite. How are You? i’m tired and annoyed and stressed. i’m not sure what i’m doing. Do you Yell a lot? not really, no. Z! Do you think a horse painted to look like a Zebra is cool? no...

Do you know your Zodiac sign? virgo. Do you take Zinc? i do not. Did you know that Steve Irwin said to run in Zigzags to escape a Croc? yes. it’s funny you mention steve irwin. i am watching jack hanna, and i was saying how i prefer steve irwin.. i really want to find all the crocodile hunter series on dvd, so if anyone knows where i can find that, send me a link or something.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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shirtshoping · 4 years ago

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tshirt online shoping 21.3

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shirtshoping · 4 years ago

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tshirt online shoping 21.2

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